For a guy who
spends his days playing in front of crowds of hundreds in Hoodbridge, Cutter
Dykstra has hit the fucking jackpot. At one time financial gurus thought his
Dad, Lenny, was some sort of a retard-savant stock mogul, however it turned out
he was actually just retarded. The messy ordeal stemming from Lenny's financial
fraud subsequently bankrupted the family and sent his pops to pound me in the
ass prison.
Even with his
family falling apart, things were starting to look up for young Cutter. For whatever
reason, Jamie-Lynn Sigler figured it’d be a good idea to start shacking up with
a minor league baseball player. So, while all his teammates were grasping at
the single Moms working at some Winston-Salem truck stop or negotiating handies
from high schoolers at the fucking Woodbridge Denny’s, Cutter slayed Meadow Soprano. Sure, Cutter
likely won’t make it to the show, at least not with the Nationals, but he’s
already got his fucking meal ticket punched, so who gives a fuck?
Oh, almost
forgot - one more thing. About that meal ticket? Yeah, it’s already been fucked by these guys:
Enjoy the taste of
Turtle’s dick for the rest of your life.
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