The Game Says No Rappers Would Ever Do Battle With Eminem, Possibly Because They All Went To Cranbrook

Dave Chappelle put it best in “Killin’ Them Softly” with his whole, “You never want to fuck with the White Guy in a Gang” bit, and Eminem’s rise to the top of the rap World is no different. Sure there were White rappers before him, but do you think a Black guy ever saw fucking Vanilla Ice rap and said to himself, “WHITE BOY GOT SKILLS!!” Fuck no. I feel like Game’s talking more about how Eminem can absolutely SLAY in rap battles and I’m pretty sure that’s what “8 Mile” was trying to portray, but that had to be the PG version of his attacks.

 

What could be so fucking terrifying about going to battle with Eminem that nobody dares cross that path. I mean, some rappers have fucking KILLED people, but GOD FORBID YOU TALK SHIT ABOUT SHADY, HE’LL TELL EVERYONE YOU HAVE TWO PARENTS!! Maybe Game’s just referring to the fact that Kim cheated on him that one time and he’s made it his life’s work to tell her he hates her in EVERY fucking rap he makes.

When That Spring Break Facebook Album Just Won't Do The Trick

Buzzfeed: "Bang With Friends" is a new Facebook app that says it helps you "anonymously find friends who are down for the night." But as you might expect of a Facebook app, it's not all that anonymous.

When you log into the app — which is currently down, either overloaded by legions of DTF Facebook users, testers, or both — you'll see a screen filled with your Facebook friends of the opposite sex. (The faces you'll see certainly aren't chosen for compatibility or even availability — included in my choices are coworkers, gay guys, married folks, and, in a particularly gross oversight, my little brother.) The app appears to be designed for exclusively heterosexual pairings. It only — apparently mistakenly — shows same-sex Facebook friends who don't have their sex listed on their profiles. This is true regardless of how your sexual orientation is listed, or whether it's listed at all.

I love where we’re heading as a society. Yeah, sure this is just one step below Adult Friend Finder, but there’s a certain level of comfort in knowing that it’s the fat bitch from your Government study group your sophomore year in College that wants to bang you and not some fucking Serial Killer who’s probably a guy. Sure this would take out all the fucking guesswork/dating/general waste of time involved in every hookup, but who’s actually signing up for this?

Apparently people are joining at an early facebook-like clip, but for every actual hot girl looking to bang, there’s gotta be like 1000 guys. What motivation would hot girls even have to join this shit? I mean, fuck, most of them don’t even make their bikini pics public! Don’t they realize all they need to tell the guy they want to bang, “Let’s Bang!” and it’s a fucking done deal. Usually the only reason hot girls don’t act like that is because it would mean the guy wouldn’t be interested in making her their girlfriend, but it’s not like “Bang With Friends” is gonna  end in some fucking Happily Ever After Fairy Tale ending. Sure “Bang With Friends” is getting a shitload of new users, but let’s be honest, the only people who this is gonna help out are 3’s with no self-esteem just looking to see if any of her Facebook friends are willing to go dumpster diving.

Fred Smoot Getting Divorced - Time For The Love Boat's Next Run

Washington Post: Divorcing: Fred Smoot, 33, and Summer Joy Hughes-Smoot, 35. The former Redskins cornerback wed the South Carolina-bred finance attorney in September 2009, while he was still playing in Washington. He was released from the team the following spring and has since made forays into business and sportscasting. Court records in Fulton County, Ga., where they made their home, indicate they filed divorce papers in the fall. They have one daughter together, his lawyer said. Rough times for Smoot: Washingtonian reported last week that he was arrested for alleged DWI on Capitol Hill Dec. 30.

Who can forget that lovely dinner cruise he orchestrated in Minnesota that started as a teammate bonding experience and ended with a reenactment of Jennifer Connelly’s final scene in “Requiem for a Dream.” Smoot seemed to clean up his act until last week where he was pulled over for DUI and reportedly pissed himself in the police station, which apparently was the final straw for Mrs. Smoot.

 I always wonder why the fuck athletes get married young, when they’re always just gonna cheat on their wives and ultimately get divorced and have to shell out half of all their cash/rims. Is it so they can have kids? Fuck that, athletes are good as shit at having kids without being married. Maybe because they just want to settle down? There’s no fucking way that they can be “settle” when they spend half their life on the road with fucking groupies looking to bang you just for the story. Whatever the case, hopefully Smoot can save some of that cash from the divorce for a nice celebratory release in to the wild Potomac River Dinner Cruise/Live Sex Show once that shit goes through.

An Entourage Movie?? I Was Hoping the Fade to Black After the Finale Meant They All Died

Deadline: Aquaman star Vinnie Chase is back, baby. Warner Bros has tonight given the green light on a movie version of Entourage, the HBO series that ran from 2004-2011. That gives a reprise for the inside Hollywood exploits of the up and coming film star, his manager and agent, his under-appreciated TV actor brother and the childhood pal/driver who form his inner circle.

The film will be directed by series creator Doug Ellin, who wrote the screenplay and who exec produced the series with Mark Wahlberg and Stephen Levinson. Deals are starting to be made with Adrian Grenier, who played Chase, Kevin Connolly, who played his manager Eric “E” Murphy, Kevin Dillon, who played the actor’s brother Johnny Drama, Jerry Ferrara, who played their entrepreneurial driver Turtle, and Jeremy Piven, who played the show’s iconic type A talent agent Ari Gold. I’m sure Drama’s agent Lloyd (Rex Lee), E’s girl Sloan (Emmanuelle Chriqui), his management partner Scott (Scott Caan), and their quirky director collaborator Billy Walsh (Rhys Coiro) and Ari’s agency partner Barbara Miller (Beverly D’Angelo) will all be in the mix, along with a swarm of real Hollywood talent, playing themselves.

I remember when I actually liked Entourage. I got hooked early and instead of just abandoning ship when I should have when Vince jumped the shark in Pablo Escobar’s fat suit, I kept coming back for more. But what did they reward my loyalty with? Pointless Athlete cameos (FUCKING RYAN HOWARD??), nausea inducing porn star bush shots, an entire season devoted to promoting some shitty Tequila and a finale that was more unbelievable than E actually pulling ass.

Who the fuck is calling for this movie to be made? Is Mark Wahlberg’s self-esteem really that low  that he’s scared when he tells some 21 year old girl he’s hitting on that Entourage is based on his life that she’s not gonna know what it is? What other explanation could there be. Now I realize HBO made two Sex and the City movies, but that’s just because girls who will probably be single forever “by choice” aka because they’re ugly like to think it’s “cool” to slut it up in their late 50’s.  Sure, if this was back in 2007, I would have been lining up to see what type of “swarm of real Hollywood talent (as opposed to the shitty actors in the actual movie), playing themselves” Doug Ellin has in store for us. Instead, I’ll just wait until it comes out on HBO so I can talk  about how shitty it is probably is for another year. 

Gio Gonzalez: Cheater With Natitude

 

 

Washington Times The Miami New Times has posted images of the documents they obtained from the Biogenisis anti-aging clinic in Miami that were used as the basis of their story that linked Gio Gonzalez, among other baseball stars, to the facility and suspicions of performance-enhancing drug use.

The images show the five mentions of Gonzalez's name, sometimes written as simply "Gio" in what they believe is the personal notebooks of Biogenisis owner, Anthony Bosch. It is unclear, however, what exactly Gonzalez is being linked to in the various notations. He is most often listed in conjunction with his father, Max, who has admitted to becoming a patient of Bosch's in an effort to lose weight.

One of the entries simply listed Gonzalez's name and his occupation "(pitcher)" and another listed a collection of statistics, presumably Gonzalez's from some point, on the same page as what appears to be a long list of ingredients for "Pink cream." The items listed on the page that the Miami New Times included in their initial story on Tuesday, ZINC, MIC (believed to be Methionine Inositol Choline) and AminoRip, do not appear on Major League Baseball's list of banned substances.

Of course. Just days after all those Sabermetric freaks predicted Nationals over 110 wins the shit has hit the fan. I’ll admit I had no fucking clue who Gio Gonzalez was before the Nats traded 4 of their top prospects for him last year, but his Cy Young worthy performance was the main reason why Drew Storen was able to break our fucking hearts last October. While potentially losing Gonzalez for 50 games would by no means diagnose the Nats 2013 with ALS, they definitely won’t be fucking blocking punts on Monday Night Football. And what if he comes back off the juice and he fucking blows? Honestly, how many people are actually mentioned in banned substance-use allegations that actually didn’t do it? It’s not like this is some Salem Witch trial where Gio’s douchebag haircut means he’s clearly guilty and deserves to be burned at the stake - we’re actually dealing with, in the words of Lois Einhorn, “that little thing lawyers call EVIDENCE.”  Rizzo needs to get the fucking Wolf from Pulp Fiction clean this shit up.