An Entourage Movie?? I Was Hoping the Fade to Black After the Finale Meant They All Died

Deadline: Aquaman star Vinnie Chase is back, baby. Warner Bros has tonight given the green light on a movie version of Entourage, the HBO series that ran from 2004-2011. That gives a reprise for the inside Hollywood exploits of the up and coming film star, his manager and agent, his under-appreciated TV actor brother and the childhood pal/driver who form his inner circle.

The film will be directed by series creator Doug Ellin, who wrote the screenplay and who exec produced the series with Mark Wahlberg and Stephen Levinson. Deals are starting to be made with Adrian Grenier, who played Chase, Kevin Connolly, who played his manager Eric “E” Murphy, Kevin Dillon, who played the actor’s brother Johnny Drama, Jerry Ferrara, who played their entrepreneurial driver Turtle, and Jeremy Piven, who played the show’s iconic type A talent agent Ari Gold. I’m sure Drama’s agent Lloyd (Rex Lee), E’s girl Sloan (Emmanuelle Chriqui), his management partner Scott (Scott Caan), and their quirky director collaborator Billy Walsh (Rhys Coiro) and Ari’s agency partner Barbara Miller (Beverly D’Angelo) will all be in the mix, along with a swarm of real Hollywood talent, playing themselves.

I remember when I actually liked Entourage. I got hooked early and instead of just abandoning ship when I should have when Vince jumped the shark in Pablo Escobar’s fat suit, I kept coming back for more. But what did they reward my loyalty with? Pointless Athlete cameos (FUCKING RYAN HOWARD??), nausea inducing porn star bush shots, an entire season devoted to promoting some shitty Tequila and a finale that was more unbelievable than E actually pulling ass.

Who the fuck is calling for this movie to be made? Is Mark Wahlberg’s self-esteem really that low  that he’s scared when he tells some 21 year old girl he’s hitting on that Entourage is based on his life that she’s not gonna know what it is? What other explanation could there be. Now I realize HBO made two Sex and the City movies, but that’s just because girls who will probably be single forever “by choice” aka because they’re ugly like to think it’s “cool” to slut it up in their late 50’s.  Sure, if this was back in 2007, I would have been lining up to see what type of “swarm of real Hollywood talent (as opposed to the shitty actors in the actual movie), playing themselves” Doug Ellin has in store for us. Instead, I’ll just wait until it comes out on HBO so I can talk  about how shitty it is probably is for another year.